Something to be Proud of
by Hitoshi-chan
Summary: Mangaverse, revolving around chapter 328. Major spoilers!


Ok, so this is my reaction to chapter 328 of the manga, if you have not read that far, I will say now that this story contains MAJOR SPOILERS.

Well after I read chapter 328, or rather after I stopped crying after reading chapter 328, this story pretty much wrote itself. This is my tribute to Sarutobi Asuma. He will be missed! Please review and let me know what you think. Enjoy!

Disclaimer-I own nothing.

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So this is how it ends.

I have to admit, this isn't really how I thought it would be.

I mean, I always thought it would be in battle, but not like this.

I expected it to be cold.

Not the kind of cold that makes you tug at the sleeves of your jacket, but the kind of cold that tugs at your insides, and freezes your core. The kind of cold you get when you feel the splash of warm blood on your face for the first time and know that someone is dead by your hand. The kind of cold you feel when your team comes back one short, and everyone tells you it wasn't your fault, but that does nothing to hinder the demons that torment you at night. After all, death is just another failure to a shinobi.

But it doesn't feel like failure, and it certainly doesn't feel cold.

Where coldness should be, instead is an out of place warmth.

Where I thought guilt and remorse would be, instead I find a funny sense of finality and relief.

Where I thought emptiness and exhaustion would be, instead I feel complete.

Heh, imagine that.

I don't know why I feel like that. I don't know what I think I've accomplished in my life, don't know what I have to be proud of.

The sound of a sob brings my focus back to reality.

I look up and meet the damp eyes of Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru.

Oh.

I guess there _is_ something I have to be proud of.

Suddenly my throat is swollen with emotion because I can't believe that this is _my_ team. This group of bright, strong, incredible individuals somehow has something to do with me. How in the world did I get so lucky as to end up with them? How is it possible that these three _amazing_ shinobi could hold that look in their eyes, and direct it towards me?

I don't deserve that look! I don't deserve their looks of admiration and respect, and concern! I didn't do anything. Did I?

I feel myself smile slightly at Shikamaru's sincere eyes and it dawns on me.

I guess I did.

Would you look at that, I actually did something useful with my life! The thought in itself causes me to silently chortle.

Somehow, I helped them.

I helped them to become who they are today. Ino's so strong and confident, and Chouji's got to have the kindest heart of anyone I've ever met, and Shikamaru, boy, if ever there was a brilliant shinobi, it's him, and somehow, someway, I helped them all to become like this. Don't get me wrong, they were already going to be great, but somehow I was able to be someone who taught them, and someone they respected. I've known how great they turned out to be for some time, but seeing as I'm dying and all, I figure I should tell them, so I do.

I don't mean to be cruel, but I can't help but feel content with their tears. It feels so nice to be someone who will be missed. I didn't think anyone would miss me, other then Kakashi and Kurenai of course, but that is something I don't want to start to think about.

I know kurenai's going to kill me for not being able to make our dinner date next week. I feel a small ache in my chest, and I know out of all my unfinished business, this is the one thing that really mattered. I wish I'd had more time to be with her. But hey, that's how the life of a shinobi is, right? I push the thought aside, not wanting to spend my last moments of life regretting.

I feel my breath getting shorter now so I finish everything up with my team.

They'll be all right. They're strong, always have been. Besides I know they'll take care of each other. They always do.

They're going to be great shinobi.

And as my gaze begins to fade to black, and the faces of my family (cause that's what they are) grow faint, I can't help but think that maybe my life wasn't so wasted after all. Perhaps I accomplished everything that was important. And with that thought on my mind, and a smile on my face, I shut my eyes, and rest.


End file.
